Pre-deployment Phase

I was reading a blog that I found today and on her page she talks about the 3 stages of deployment. Pre-deployment, Deployment, and Reintegration. We are in the Pre-deployment stage, and this is what she says about it, which I thought described it very well.

Pre-Deployment

This is that uncomfortable time frame when you are preparing for deployment. Mindsets are shifting; practical preparations need to be made, nervousness and questions abound as the calendar ticks down to good-bye day.  I have found this to be a very difficult time. My husband would be going back and forth for multiple training missions for a few weeks at a time, so he was in and out for months prior to deployment. While this may have seemed to some as good practice leading up to deployment, it was actually harder because we were unable to settle into a routine. Neither was he, and we would finally get to  a point of just wishing the deployment would start, so we could start counting down to the end.

If you find yourself in this time frame, I would encourage you to remember just a few things. 

Look at the big picture.  Understand that your feelings are normal and that it is all part of a process. Just knowing that there is a predictable cycle can be helpful in taking the sting out of your emotions.

Educate and prepare yourself.  Be proactive in reading about deployment issues. This information is readily available on many websites, books and through the military. Educating yourself about deployment will remove some of the power of fear.

Grace. For yourself and your family. It will be a roller-coaster of emotions. Be ready to be forgiving and patient.

The pre-deployment stage is HARD. Unless you are military, you don't understand. During the training cycle (pre-deployment), I have had people ask me how long is he going to be gone? I usually can't give a very accurate answer and since we shouldn't really be talking about ship's movement...I usually give a very generic answer. Sometimes, I might say, "a week or two." To which I get a response, "Oh! That's not that bad!" To which I just want to say, "Really? You think it's not that bad? How about next week when he leaves for 2 weeks, or a couple weeks after that when he leaves for 10 weeks, or how about when he gets to come home after that for only a few weeks and then leave again? How about when he misses 3 of his kids birthdays...is that bad enough? How about when after all these not too bad LITTLE away times he leaves for 8 months or more?" I'm not mad or anything, I know that if you are not military, you don't know you shouldn't say things like that. So I just smile and say, "Nope, not too bad." One week may not seem bad, but when you add it all up...even one week is hard. These shorter underway times are not good practice...they just make it harder. You know they are going to be leaving for a long time and all you want to do is spend every moment with them. Instead they are gone more then they are home and you get very little of them at all. And when he is home, he's trying to do things around the house to make life easier for me when he leaves again...when all I really want is for him to snuggle with me on the couch and talk.

It's hard to get into a routine when he is coming and going so much. When he's home, we don't want to do anything with anyone else...we want to hibernate! But we can't always do that every time he comes and goes. The kids have end of the year stuff going on at church and baseball and we can't just back out of everything because Daddy is home again. It's different when he comes home from deployment, it's great to take a break from everything then...but we can't do that during pre-deployment...it's just not practical!

During the moments that he is home, I need to make sure that we are taking care of business stuff too. We have to get a Power of Attorney and make sure all the bills are in my name and discuss car stuff and lawn stuff and money stuff and figure out how much money he can take out each month to have with him and talk about expectations for communication.

So that brings us to her 3 steps. Look at the big picture - my feelings are normal!! That's good to know! Lol, I know that they are and that we go through this before every deployment. It's a little harder this time around since we just had 3 years of shore duty. But I know that all this is normal and this too shall pass.

Educate and prepare yourself...now this one I am really good at!! This will be our 5th deployment so I know the ropes, but I still read everything as a refresher!

Grace. Such a little word that means so much. Have grace with myself and my family. Have grace with my friends, who maybe don't get it, but they love me so much and just want to support me in any way they can. And grace that God has for me too. I wouldn't be able to do ANY of this without the grace of God. His mercies are new every morning!! When people ask me, "How do you do it?" I know that it's because God gives me what I need every morning to get through that day...no matter which stage of the deployment we are in! I thank the Lord for my wonderful husband whom I love and who is patient with me when times are hard and emotions are overflowing, I am thankful for my children who bring so much joy to my life, I am thankful for my family and friends that support me emotionally from afar, and I am thankful for my new friends here who will support me during each stage of this new deployment and be my Aaron and Hur when I feel like I can't do it anymore.

I don't like this pre-deployment stage, it's hard, but I know that with God's grace, we will get through this and deployment and reintegration. 

What Memorial Day Means to Me

When some people think of Memorial Day they think of cook outs with family, beautiful weather, planting the spring garden or flower beds, and doing yard work. Many think of the military and say kind words about appreciating their sacrifices. I'm sure some people don't think much about it at all, it's just a day off.

When I think of Memorial Day...only one thing comes to my mind. Ricky Nelson.

I didn't really know Ricky Nelson well, but I know his family. On April 14th, 2008, at the age of 23...Ricky was killed in Iraq. He was newly married...his wife became a widow. His parents lost their son. His 5 brothers and 1 sister lost their brother. Many lost an amazing friend. He was so many things to so many people...and they lost him. Thankfully he is not lost forever, because of our hope in Jesus Christ, we will see him again one day.

Exactly one month from Ricky's death, my husband came home from Iraq.

One year later, our 4th child was born.

One year after that, on Memorial Day weekend, our family placed a flag at Ricky's grave.

 

Life goes on. Because of the sacrifice that Ricky gave, our life goes on. Because of the sacrifice that so many have given, we can have our picnics and our get togethers and our 3 day weekend to plant flowers and hang out with our loved ones.

Because of their sacrifice, we have freedom...and it is NOT FREE. So on this Memorial Day, I WILL enjoy my children and my day...and I will remember their sacrifice.


Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:13

Rest in Peace, Ricky, you will never be forgotten.

http://richardjnelson.com/About.html

God's Promises

It's amazing how God works. Even through facebook, lol. Mr. M left April 16th and was supposed to be gone for 3 weeks. They had to pull into San Diego for a day and ended up being stuck there for the whole time. Which delayed them coming home, so they were gone for a month. It was tough but we, of course, made it through. 


Yesterday I started feeling kind of anxious and I thought to myself...I can't do this. I can't be here and him not be here. He can't leave me for 8 months or more plus all the training time beforehand. I can't do it again. I don't know how I did this before and I can't do it again. And I felt so lost. There is nothing we can do. This is his job, there is no out. I am a military wife and this is my job. To stay here and hold it together. But how can I do it?


Today I woke up and had to take him to the ship to leave again. I am not feeling good and then had to say goodbye and my feelings from yesterday surfaced again. This afternoon I went on facebook and these are the posts I have seen in my feed today.


This hard place in which you perhaps find yourself is the very place in which God is giving you opportunity to look only to Him, to spend time in prayer, and to learn long-suffering, gentleness, meekness - in short, to learn the depths of the love that Christ Himself has poured out on all of us.


Isaiah 54:10, "'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the LORD, who has compassion on you." 


‎"Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 


We all have something to overcome; don't think that you're the only one. God will be you strength if you let Him.


For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.


Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.


Thank you, Lord, for the reminder of your promises.

Love Languages

Years ago, I took a test to find out what my love languages were (http://www.5lovelanguages.com/). I don't totally remember where all of them fell, but I remember my top one and my bottom one. My top one was Acts of Service. This was obvious to me and I didn't need to take a test to tell me that I like to be a team with my husband. I like him to help me with things around the house and things with our child...we only had 1 at the time. 

The bottom one was physical touch. The other ladies in the Mom's class that I was a part of were shocked. Not only was it at the bottom...but it got a big ol' fat ZERO! It wasn't that I did not like physical touch, which was their interpretation, it just wasn't my love language. I felt like the test was rigged against me!! If you ask me a question like, do I like my husband to hold my hand or do I like my husband to help with the dishes...of course I am going to put help with the dishes!!! Holding hands isn't going to get the dishes done by either of us! But if we do the dishes together, then there is plenty of time for more then just holding hands!! 


The other ladies made it their goal that they were going to help me change my love language and make me more comfortable with physical touch by giving me a hug every time they saw me, I mean, my poor husband! I must never allow him to touch me, right? This is where I roll my eyes. If only I would have been bold enough to say, "Trust me ladies, my husband is not complaining when it comes to the bedroom!" But I was young and didn't think it was appropriate to talk about such things at church! And doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of the Love Languages? You are supposed to figure out what they are and how to communicate with your spouse through that...not change them to make someone else happy!


Learning about the five languages has definitely helped me in my marriage, my parenting, and in other relationships too. If you know what someone's love language is, you can love them in their own language and improve your relationship with them. Or if I am having difficulties in a relationship, I can almost always contribute it to that we are speaking a completely different love language.


There are times, though, when you can figure out someone's love language and try to love on them in that way...and it still doesn't work. Some relationships just have a complete disconnect no matter how much you love them or how much you try.

Today, I decided to take the test again. I was curious if my love languages have changed over the years. This was the result: Acts of Service (11), Quality Time (9), Physical Touch (5), Words of Affirmation (4), Receiving Gifts (1). So Acts of Service is still at the top, which again, doesn't surprise me. Quality time doesn't surprise me either, I feel loved when people spend their time with me. Physical Touch has moved up!!! I think part of this was because it got matched up with questions about receiving gifts. I also think that with now having 4 children, there is not as much daily physical contact...therefor it's appreciated a bit more. And I do love my honey's massages! I'm actually surprised that Words of Affirmation is as high as it is since usually it makes me uncomfortable, but I do like it when Mr. M says he is proud of me or when someone thanks me for doing something for them, so I guess it makes sense. The bottom one this time around is Receiving Gifts, and the only thing that surprised me about this one was that it got anything! Lol. I'm not big on gifts at all! I'd rather not get gifts for my birthday or Christmas or any other holidays for that matter. I would much rather you spent time with me then buy me a gift. So some things have shifted around, some remain the same. We grow and change and love changes us too!

The one thing that really struck me about my top 2 love languages, Acts of Service and Quality Time, is that my husband can not do either of these when he is away with the military. He can't give me Physical Touch either. So my top 3 are totally impossible for him. NOW I say, my poor husband! It's really amazing that we have such a wonderful marriage after 17 years of him being in the military. It would be much easier for him if my love languages were Words of Affirmation or Receiving Gifts...but they just aren't. 


So how does a marriage not only survive, but thrive, even when your love languages aren't being met? The answer is simple for me...God. God is the language of love!! No one can love me like Him.

Homeschooling

We started our homeschooling journey 7 years ago! Hard to believe it's been that long! Tink started out in Kindergarten in WA state and then at Christmas time we moved from WA to VA and Mr. M deployed. That 6 months of school in VA was horrible. I watched my beautiful butterfly who loved to learn wilt away into nothingness and not want to learn anything. I didn't know what to do! We had numerous meetings with her teacher, the school counselor and other school officials. Nothing mattered. The teacher was terrible. When I tell my teacher friends about how Tink was treated, they are appalled! It certainly wasn't the idea I had in my head of what school was going to be like for my child. It wasn't just the teacher either, the whole school administration did not match up with the education we wanted for our child.

I knew people who homeschooled, they all had pretty great kids. But I couldn't homeschool...I had no idea how to do that! I don't know how to teach! I mean teaching her to talk and walk and go to the bathroom on the toilet and the abc's and counting and reading... really didn't count! Did it? So after much prayer and being scared to death...we took the plunge!

We chose to go with ABeka. I love ABeka! It has been a wonderful thing for our whole family, for the most part. The last couple of years, the girls have done the DVD lessons, which was great for a time. This year, we are all really bored with it! So we are thinking about changing it up next year entirely and trying some other curriculum's! This is terrifying! I almost feel like I did when I first pulled Tink out of school!

The most wonderful thing in the world though, is being surrounded by an amazing group of homeschooling Mom's who are encouraging, helpful, and FULL of information!! I am SO looking forward to learning about all the other wonderful curriculum's that are out there and choosing what is best for our family! We love homeschooling, I am SO glad that God chose this path for us, and I am really looking forward to bringing our family even closer together!

I forgot how it feels...

When Mr. M first got commissioned, he went right to a ship. It was out here in WA and we were only here for 9 months before it did a 'round the world' tour and ended up in VA after their deployment. He was on that ship for 2 years and then went right to another ship in VA and was gearing up for a deployment cycle when he got picked for an IA to Iraq. That was a shocker! He was gone for that deployment for a year. After he got back from there, we got to go to shore duty and we were stationed back home near WI. It was a wonderful 2 years of refreshment for our family! Then he got picked to go to NY for a tour of recruiting, which got cut short...thank the Lord!! Then he got the job he really wanted and he is back on another ship out here in WA again.

He's not on deployment yet, but he's just, well, gone. He'll be gone a lot this year...and next year...he's on a ship! There are 2 sayings you hear a lot in the Navy, "Haze gray and underway" and "Sailors belong on ships and ships belong at sea". Many non-military people don't understand that it's not just the deployment. Ships are gone A LOT and it doesn't always mean they are deployed, but it does mean he is away from us. Also, many non-military people do not understand that I can not talk about ships schedule. So you can ask me if he's home or not and I can tell you, but if he's home, I can't tell you for how long... and if he's gone, I can't tell you when he'll be back. And I definitely can't tell you when the deployment is! Plus a lot of the time...I don't even know myself! It's really hard in today's social media age to not talk about it. It's really not safe for me to talk about him being gone all the time. Plus, we just aren't supposed to!

But what I CAN talk about are my feelings!

I forgot what it was like for him to be away! I forgot how I go from feeling like I have a pretty normal life to feeling completely cut off from my spouse. I can not call him and most of the time, he can not call me. We can not skype. I can email him, and hopefully he will get it and hopefully he'll have time to respond...but usually he only has time for a quick I love you note. So I can email him this long email talking to him about all the things going on here with the kids and how much I miss him and talk about things I have been wanting to talk to him about like which preschool should we choose, and maybe we'll change homeschool curriculums next year, and what do you think about going away for Easter if you are home, and many other things that you would just talk to your spouse about when they get home from work or after you have the kids all tucked into bed at night. When I tuck my kids into bed at night...my house is eerily quiet and lonely. And if and when I get a response to my email it usually says something like this, "Beautiful, thank you so much for your email. I love and miss you so much. Hopefully we'll talk soon. Love, Mr. M". And I will tear up and I will be so grateful that he had a moment to let me know how much he loves me.

I forgot how hard it can be on the kids. The first couple days are great! We just plug along and stick to our routine. Then about day 3 I notice the kids are being pretty crabby with each other and pretty crabby with me. They miss their Daddy. When he comes home at the end of the day when he's here, it's a big celebration! Whoever hears the garage door or sees him walk in the door first yells, "Daddy's home!!" And all the kids go running to him and hug him and cheer for him...this is EVERY day. So when he doesn't come home, I don't hear much about it until bedtime. Then I hear things like, "I really miss Daddy." "Will Daddy be home soon?" "Dear God, please take care of Daddy while he is away from us." Sometimes there are frowns, sometimes there are teary eyes. But as I tuck them into bed, I just remind them how much their Daddy loves them and I pray with them and kiss them goodnight...and hope that it can be enough.

But I have not forgotten how blessed I am. Blessed that I have such an amazing husband who loves me so much, blessed to have my wonderful children, blessed to have family and friends who love me and support me as best they can when he is away, blessed that my husband has come home to me when so many others have not. This I have not forgotten.

Pinewood Derby

This past Saturday we took part in the Pinewood Derby at our church. This is our 4th year and our 3rd state to participate in. We LOVE Pinewood Derby!! This is an opportunity for us to work together with our kids on something fun that we can ALL help in. We buy the kits with the block of wood, wheels, axles, and instructions in December usually with a big plan to work on them over Christmas stand down. (Christmas stand down is the time around Christmas when Mr. M has shorter hours and more time off then usual due to the way they schedule every one's vacation time.) We usually don't start the cars till February though, lol.

The kids pick a theme for their cars and then pick out the design for the frame. Mr. M then cuts the block of wood. I couldn't tell you what he used to cut them with, but this year he finally bought a new power tool to cut them...I couldn't tell you what kind either! All I know is what a difference it made!! He was happier, the cars turned out nicer, and it went a lot faster!!

Then comes the sanding. I don't like this part. Just when the kids get them sanded down to perfection, Mr. M breaks out a finer sand paper to start all over again! We went through this 3 times before I finally said enough! They are fine enough and I have wood dust all over my kitchen!! Lol, but the kids do have fun doing it and even Scooter did some sanding on his car.

On to the painting! I think this is the kids favorite part. They pick their main color for their cars and we get all set up at the table and paint away. Then they have to let it dry before they can put on the 2nd coat, and sometimes it even needs a 3rd or 4th. This year was great cause we have finally built up quite a collection of paint colors so we didn't have to buy any! Although next year we may try spray painting. We saw some friends cars this year that looked pretty cool and shiny! Princess for sure liked that! But I don't know if spray painting will produce these smiles!



So after all the painting, we then put the design on the cars, the names of the cars and anything else special. Once the cars themselves are totally done, it's time for the wheels. This is probably the hardest part of the car. You want to make sure the wheels are on the axles tightly enough...but not too tight! Then you want to make sure the axles go on the car straight and centered. However, our cars had slots for the axles that were not straight...so we had to adjust the axles for that and I don't think it worked great...since a couple of our cars didn't do so great! We even used one of our table leafs on the floor propped up to make sure the car would run straight! Lol, wish I would have gotten pics of that! We had a great time though!

Once the cars were totally done, we did our photo shoot and then put them up so there was no playing with them before check in! We also included pics of their previous cars.

Tink's car - The Bubbler - She wanted to put a motor in it so that it would actually blow bubbles as it went down the track. She has such creativity! We did not do that as it's probably not allowed to get the track wet! Her other cars were: Star Car, Hummingbird Dasher, and Flower Power.



Princess's car - Scissor Flash - was fun for both of us! She really, really wanted a scissor-tailed fly catcher painted on her car. I told her she needed to do something that she could do herself, but she was very persistent! I had done it for Tink when she did her Hummingbird Dasher, so I finally said yes. It is only by the Grace of God that it looks like it does!! I am not an artist by any means and have NO IDEA how it looks as good as it does! Tink also wanted us to put a sound chip in it for Princess so it would sound like a scissor-tail fly catcher. Yeah, that didn't happen either! Her other cars: Princess Rocket Car, Speedy Num Nums (which looks like a Zhu Zhu pet), and Peace Dasher.




Little Man's car - Night Fury - turned out really good! He wanted a jet car. You can't put wings on a car or it will be too wide for the track, so we had to figure out how to make it look like a jet. He was very happy with the results. He named it Night Fury after the dragon in How to Train Your Dragon. His first car was one that we did mostly for him since he was only 3, then his 2nd one I did the shield and the outline on the sides for the wings and he painted them in, this one he did much more of. I look forward to how much more he'll be able to do it next year! I love watching their cars grow with them! Previous cars: Lightening McQueen and Captain America.



Scooter's car - Thomas the Tank Engine - was so much fun! Last year we just bought a little wooden train for him to paint while his siblings were painting their derby cars. When we were at race day he was very upset and had a total melt down that he didn't get to race that train! So this year we decided to help him do a car. I was surprised at how much he did do of the car, he really wanted to do it. He painted a lot of the main blue color and he even did some sanding! Then I had fun doing the rest! We used wooden dowels for all the parts that are round and just glued them on. The face took me 6 tries!!!! As I said, I am NOT an artist! But I finally got it to look ok! The best part? Scooter LOVES his car!!!



This past Wednesday we helped with check in for the cars. They can weigh up to 5.0 oz on the "official" scale and if they are over or under you can request for the team of guys there to help get them to standard. I did the paperwork side and Mr. M helped with the cars. It was a lot of fun! We added some graphite to the wheels and said goodby to our cars till Saturday.

Race Day! We got to church at 9am and got seats right up front. We got to hang out with great friends and just had a wonderful morning! Little Man's car was one of the first to race and it was doing really bad!! I think his was one of the worst with the axle issue. I mean, his car was like a foot behind everyone else. He was SO disappointed! The last run, one of the guys sprayed the bottom of the car with silicone and then it came in first!! Little Man was ecstatic!!! The guy came over to apologize for not doing it sooner but it didn't really matter, we were having a great time and that one race was enough for Little Man! He was all smiles! He didn't need hardware to make his day!

After a few other groups it was Princess's turn. Her car didn't do so well either, but she came in about the middle of the pack. She was a little disappointed but still had a great time and loves her car! We got a nice shot of her race.




Then one of the last groups was the 13 and up open category. Tink is in this category and so was Scooter. They don't have a category for 2 year olds, and since I did most of the car, this is the group it went in. We got some great shots of this race, as did another friend whose pic was my opening picture at the top. Each car had to run in each lane so that is why they are in different lanes every time.



Tink's car did ok and was in the middle of the pack like Princess's. She was disappointed too, lol. They have always done pretty well...but people here take the Derby pretty seriously so we got some great tips for next year!


Now Scooter's car did pretty good!!! He got 1st in show and 3rd for the race! He was SO excited!! We let him go up there himself and get his car and his trophies. He was so cute and took home trophies for both! He marched up there and took his car and his trophy and got in line with the other teens and grown ups. I wish I had video taped it, it was so funny!


A great time was had by all! And we can't wait till next year! Maybe I will make my OWN car next year! :o)

I decided for Valentines Day to re-post our love story.

This is going to be a long post so get a cup of coffee, tea, hot chocolate, etc. and settle in.

It all started when my friend Reece called me from California. She just moved there and she told me that she had met the man that I was going to marry. I told her that I am not coming to California to meet some dumb guy... yes, those were my exact words. (Later I I found out that he saw a picture of Reece and I together and he told her that he was going to marry me!)

A few months later, my friend (and coincidentally Mr. M) moved to Hawaii. She called me and asked me if I would consider coming there for awhile. She was expecting her first child and wanted a friend. Hmmm, move to Hawaii...ahhh, yeah!

We met the day after I got there, late December 1993. We went to pick my friend's husband up for lunch and Mr. M and his friend came walking out of the building. She called him over to say hello. We shook hands and said nice to meet you and all that. He was pretty cute! I was like...so that's the one huh? She was certain!

A few days later at the New Year's Eve party we went to on base, he danced with everyone there but me. He said later he didn't purposely not pay attention to me...yeah right Mr. Hard to get!

So the next day a bunch of the guys came over to my friends house and we were playing cards and such, just hanging out. That's when he and I both started flirting terribly with each other. He started coming over almost every day after that to see me. We would hang out with my friends or go for long walks and sit at the park on the swings and just talk. He really wanted to know me.

Our first actual date was Magical!! It was Jan. 15th, 1994. He took me to Chi-Chi's, which was my favorite restaurant. He had a rose waiting at the table for me, we had a wonderful time! On the way home we were listening to the radio and 'I love the way you love me' by John Michael Montgomery came on. I was like..."oh I love this song!!!" He asked if I minded if we stopped at the NEX (a Navy store) real quick, I said it was fine. I waited in the car and he came out with the John Michael Montgomery CD with that song on it. He opened it up and put it in and we listened to it again. Of course later this became 'our song'.

For Valentine's Day that year, he bought 4 tickets (2 for us and 2 for my friends, how nice is that?!) to a dinner cruise in Waikiki. This should have been the most romantic date ever! Candle light, 7 course meal, dancing, a dinner show, the waves going up and down...yeah, I spent almost the entire night in the bathroom...I didn't get to eat anything! You'd think he would have run after that huh?! Nope, he just kept telling me it was ok to all my sorry's. I never knew I would get so sea sick!

We were practically inseparable after that! In March, my friend went into the hospital to have her baby, then it was time for me to go home. Our time together was bittersweet. I felt like we were saying goodbye forever, I didn't see how this could ever work...long distance relationships don't work! He knew that I was the one. I pretty much cried the entire flight home. I even fell asleep at the airport in Chicago on my 2nd layover and missed my flight! My Mom and friend had to pick up my luggage in Milwaukee and then come pick me up in Chicago. I still haven't lived that one down!

The first time he called me, I was really surprised. Then we started spending hours on the phone...computers weren't that rampant back then! We spent a lot of money on those phone bills! We would talk for hours just like we used to when we would walk around housing in Hawaii. In May of 94, he came to visit me in Wisconsin as well as his parents and siblings from NY. He was planning a proposal! His first idea didn't work cause it involved me being pulled over by the police and that day, I got into a terrible car accident. Then his next idea didn't work out either for various reasons. His family went back to NY and still no proposal...I didn't know all the details of why he hadn't proposed yet...I thought he changed his mind! Finally, he proposed when we were miniature golfing with some friends, it was really cute!

So he went back to Hawaii and I started planning our wedding! We were married in Wisconsin that October (1994). He came in from Hawaii and his family came in from NY and we had other family and friends from all over the place! After we were married I moved to Hawaii with him where we lived for 2 years. Some honeymoon huh?!

So 17 years, 4 kids and 8 duty stations later...we are still splendidly in love! Not that it's always been perfect. After all, you can't have a perfect marriage with two imperfect people! But we still love each other. I still get butterflies when he calls to tell me he's on his way home from work and I still miss him like crazy when he is away from us.

Today when I was looking for a wedding picture, I came across my wedding vows. When I read them, it's so great to know that I love him even more today then I did that wonderful day. I decided to share them with you. Before that though, here's a crazy picture! He's supposed to be helping me onto the bus but by the look on his face...you'd think he was kidnapping me! Too funny!

Here are my wedding vows!

When we first met, I certainly wasn't looking for love, but your friendship intrigued me. You took the time to get to know me, and on one occasion I read you a poem, I'd like to read that again now.

"I promise you my love...without any limits. To accept the things you believe in and to always try to understand you. To be near you whenever you need my presence. To trust in your love for me and pray that it grows stronger every day. To watch our love grow together through the years. I promise to soothe your mind and body. To plan with you, dream with you, to do my best to show you how much I love you. For you have become my world, my heart, my life, and my future for ever. "

I told you that one day I would feel that way about someone and then, I would marry that person. Little did I know that I was looking into that very person's baby-browns. Every day since then I have felt our love & friendship growing. People say when you fall in love it seems your whole world turns upside down. When we fell in love...my life turned right side up again. With each passing day, a piece of our puzzle falls into place. Every time we find something in common, every time our differences compliment each other, a puzzle piece is put gently into place to bring us together in God's great plan for our destiny. Now, today, the final piece of our puzzle is being placed.

I take you to be my husband, and these things I promise you: I will be faithful to you and honest with you; I will respect you as you have always shown me the greatest respect; I will trust you, help, and care for you. I will share every part of my life with you. I will forgive you as we have been forgiven. And I will try with you better to understand ourselves, the world, and God: through the best and worst of what is to come as long as we both shall live. I love you!

It's funny to me now, reading those vows I wrote so many years ago, how I mentioned that the final piece of the puzzle was being placed. Little did I know that it was only the final piece of the frame work of the puzzle. Through out our lives we continue to place more puzzle pieces. With each child that was born, every sorrow, every joy, every time he came back to me safely from deployment, with every kiss...we place another piece.

Random Acts of Kindness

For Thanksgiving, I was trying to find somewhere that my whole family could volunteer together. I was very discouraged that it seemed every idea I came up with and checked into...my kids were too little. Then a friend from church contacted me and asked if we would be interested in staying after the Thanksgiving service to help separate and organize the food donations that every one would be bringing that day. I was very excited about this and we decided we would. Scooter and Little Man only made it about 20 minutes carrying food to the different areas with me helping them and then they were done...but they did it!! The girls did it to the very end and we had a great time with our little family and with our new church family volunteering for Thanksgiving!

The last day of November, my sister-in-law emailed me and asked me what I thought of this. It reminded me of another blog I had seen here that I knew I wanted to do on my next birthday. My family just started reading a book about advent called Jotham's Journey and in the beginning of the book it talks about showing kindness to others during Advent. So I decided VERY last minute that we were going to do this too!

25 days of Random Acts of Kindness for Avent! Here is the list we initially started with.

1st (Thu) Fill up someone’s gas tank

2nd (Fri) Tape coins to vending machines

3rd (Sat) Give a gift bag of food/drink and a blanket to a homeless person

4th (Sun) Buy a hot cocoa or latte for Salvation Army bell ringers

5th (Mon) Purchase toys for kids in need

6th (Tue) Tape candy canes and happy holiday notes to ATMS

7th (Wed) Take a set of holiday books and leave at a mall play area

8th (Thu) Offer to buy a pack of gum or mints for checkout clerk at grocery store

9th (Fri) Hand out pretty Christmas flowers

10th (Sat) Bring Christmas cookies to all our neighbors

11th (Sun) Help someone put their groceries in their car

12th (Mon) Bake & deliver Christmas cupcakes to library employees

13th (Tue) Bake a deliver Christmas cookies & bread to the fire department

14th (Wed) Bake and deliver Christmas cookies & bread to the police department

15th (Thu) Collect canned goods for food pantry

16th (Fri) Pass out candy canes to folks mailing off their Christmas cards at the post office

17th (Sat) Take back shopping carts, hold open doors for rushed and weary shoppers…

18th (Sun) Leave small Christmas treats/gifts in shopping carts for folks to find

19th (Mon) Take presents to hard working post office employees

20th (Tue) Call animal shelter and find out what donations they need. Make a contribution & visit animals.

21th (Wed) Leave basket of Christmas gifts on doorstep of a family that needs it

22nd (Thu) Buy coffee for stranger at Starbucks

23rd (Fri) Leave present in mailbox for mail carrier

Christmas Eve: (Sat) Take all night drug store employee a Christmas surprise (because it’s no fun to work on Christmas Eve!)

Christmas Day: (Sun) Deliver something special to folks who are working and/or recovering at local hospital.

I am not letting this stress me out at all! We haven't done the 3rd one because there is a particular man we want to bless and it hasn't worked out yet. We also changed the 6th one. We had gone out to dinner that night and when we were leaving, we saw the lights on at the military recruiting office. I said, "We should give them the candy canes instead!" Every one was excited about it, so we did! We went into each of the offices for the Navy, Army, and Marines (the Air Force are at a different location) and gave them candy canes and told them that we appreciate what they are doing and we know how tough their job is since before we moved here my husband was recruiting. They were so nice and really appreciated us coming in and then showered my kids with gifts! Balls, bracelets, pencils, and stickers! It felt really great and it was REALLY random, since we decided to do it so last minute!

I read about others on my facebook or other blogs doing the same thing! To know that there are so many people all over the place doing random acts of kindness for others...it just makes me so happy! Today a friend pointed me to this blog and it was just another smile for my day!

I love being able to teach my kids about giving to others! As they say on Yo Gabba Gabba...try it, you'll like it!

Making Every Day Special

Every thing we do, every day...I want to make special for my family. As Mr. M and I celebrated our anniversary, I wanted it to be really special. When we celebrated Tink's birthday, I made sure that Mr. M was a part of it and tried to make the best memories. For Thanksgiving and Christmas, I want us to just have super quality time...as a family. When he is home on the weekends, I try to make every thing we do really special. I'm sure most families do these things, but this year, I have a purpose. Next year, Mr. M won't be here for these things. He will be deploying.

So I want to make memories for my kids...and for their Dad, so that when they are missing each other...they can remember all the awesome things they did. Is it going to make them any less sad when Daddy isn't here for their birthday, probably not, but I still want them to have those amazing memories to hold on to.

A couple of weeks ago, I was singing in church during praise and worship and God spoke to me. He showed me that He wants OUR time together to be special. He wants me to make everything count! He doesn't just want my best on Sunday mornings, he wants every moment of every day to be special for Him and I. Hubby and I love our children and love to spend time with them, God loves us even more and wants to spend time with us.

We don't have to be on our knees in prayer every moment of the day...but we are supposed to pray without ceasing! God wants to be at the for front of our minds at all times. He wants us to share things with Him that make us happy or sad. He wants us to turn to Him in everything and include Him in everything.

Imagine if you will, standing in a group of people and being totally ignored. Sitting down at a table with your family, and not one person talks to you. Holding someones hand while they are going through a trial, and they let go to turn to someone else. Giving someone the best gift they have ever gotten and they act like they got it for themselves. Is this how we treat God? He is right there beside us, yet we do not acknowledge Him.

I pray, Lord, that as I go throughout each day, that I make it a special day that I spend with you...every day. Amen.

Seasons in Him

On the way to church yesterday morning, there was a frost on the ground and the leaves are changing beautifully this time of year. Mr. M said his favorite part of fall is watching the leaves fall and being someplace quiet where you can actually hear the leaves hitting the ground.

That is the one thing we both miss about our house in NJ, it was surrounded by nature! Tons of trees and a lot of animals. Mr. M used to step outside with his morning coffee and listen to the leaves hitting the ground while watching the deer roam through our yard and the park across the street. It was so beautiful and peaceful.

So back to our drive to church. I told him that when I think of the leaves falling from the trees, it makes me think of how God strips away our sins and imperfections. When we allow God to do this, it can really be a beautiful thing.

Then when all of our sins have been washed away, we feel bare and naked.

But then God covers us with his mercy and grace! He washes us white as snow!

And then after God covers you with his mercy and grace...he covers you with his beauty, splendor, and love. He gives us new growth in Him, we are born again!

I pray that God will strip away my sins and imperfections, cover me with his mercy and grace, wash me white as snow, and give me new growth in him!! I pray the same for you today.

Orthodontists and Dentists

So this week I took Princess to the orthodontist. I had taken her 1.5 years ago in WI and they told me she would definitely need ortho care and that it would be extensive. We weren't in NJ long enough so as soon as we got here to WA, I knew I needed to get on the ball. So I found an orthodontist through a friend and set up an appointment. They said Princess had 4 different problems they would have to address. Some of her molars were stuck due to overcrowding so they needed to straighten the top teeth to help those come down, then they would put in a guard to help her stop sucking her thumb, then she has a cross bite, and finally, her lower jaw is very prominent so they want to try and bring her upper jaw forward. So we made an appointment for the very next day and they put on her upper braces. Everything happened SO fast! She looks really cute with them on! This has made brushing in our house quite the event. It's really hard to keep braces clean, but thankfully, Princess is very diligent!

After she got her braces on, that same afternoon, all 4 kids had the dentist. This is our new dentist, and while I really like him and the office, perhaps it was a bit much for one week. I got the big lecture on helping the kids brush their teeth. The girls were fine, but the boys really still need help...like I didn't know that. They are 5 and 2. No more grazing all day long on food...ummm, we have 3 meals and 2 set snack times...and we eat healthy snacks for the most part. And I have to ask...how many people have 2 year olds that cooperate with teeth brushing time? We started as soon as he had a tooth, yet now that he's 2...he doesn't want help! Yes, I know I still NEED to do it...but it's certainly not fun!

So I wonder then about all those people I know who give their kids soda, fruit snacks, sugar cereals, gum, etc...what does their dentist have to say to them?! Because I don't give my kids any of that stuff and I get quite the lecture at the dentist. I left there feeling like a pretty bad Mom. So now teeth brushing time has become quite the event at our house for everyone...not just Princess! I have to stand over Tink to make sure she isn't rushing and that she is getting along her gum line, I have to help Princess because of her new braces (3-4x a day!), I have to help Little Man cause he's only 5 but at least he cooperates, and I have to help Scooter cause he's only 2 and he's very stubborn. We spend most of the time with him biting on the toothbrush and I can't get it out of his mouth!!

And ALL of this is SO fun for someone who has anxiety about dentists...that would be me!

Getting Settled

We are now in Washington! We love our house, our location, our church, everything! We are getting used to Mr. M's new schedule and are so happy that he doesn't have to be in California.

Our church here is amazing!! We have met so many wonderful people and have just dove right in. Tink is doing Teen Bible Quiz (TBQ), a Sunday School class that is talking about creation vs evolution that she is really enjoying, a middle school small group, youth group, youth choir, and serving with me in the little kids choir. Princess is doing Junior Bible Quiz (JBQ), Kids Church, Impact (a Bible club), and kids choir. The boys have their little Sunday School classes and Little Man has Royal Rangers and kids choir too. So we are staying pretty busy!!

A couple weeks ago, a new friend was going over to the east side of WA for a fun weekend of homesteading type activities and one of those was getting some apples. So I bought some too and she brought them back for me! So over the last 2 weekends, Mr. M and I have made over 50 quarts of applesauce!! It is so yummy!!! Hopefully it will last us till next fall...but we'll see!

This Thursday I am going over to a friends house to learn how to make my own bread. Not like the type you get from a bread maker...blah! But homemade, whole wheat bread!! I am really excited to start making my own! Mr. M and I have researched kitchen mixers and can't wait to get our Bosch Universal Mixer with it's 800 watt motor!

Next summer we are definitely making our own freezer jam again too! I know, I am sounding like a crazy homesteader right?! I hope so! Pretty soon I will be sewing all our own clothes!! Just kidding...not that there is anything wrong with that! Been there done that. I have made a few dresses for my girls and I have found it takes way too much time and money and I can buy things much, much cheaper!!

I am still trying to finish up unpacking. Downstairs is looking amazing! I hung up all the pictures and everything down there is unpacked and put away. So, now it's upstairs time. I feel like I never get to it cause I am always trying to keep up with cleaning the downstairs and doing laundry and doing school. But now I have a time limit...which always helps! This Friday is Tink's birthday party!!

Now I feel like saying blah, blah, blah...cause that is how I feel like I sound!! Lol. This is part of why I haven't blogged in so long!

Answered Prayers

Wow, last night I finally had time to sit down and look at my blog after a very busy summer so far. In my latest blog I talked about having faith and being able to wait on the Lord. I was stressed about choosing the right church in WA and finding the right house and Mr. M having to go be in CA for 4 months. Reading it, I was almost giddy! Because God answered ALL of my prayers!!

I had been staying up late every night scouring the internet for rental houses out in Washington. I knew we were going to have to pick a place to live without going there first to see it. We've done this before, we actually bought our house in VA without ever having seen it in person. Sometimes this is just the way it works out with the military. I also have been in prayer. Knowing that I shouldn't worry about it cause God has ALWAYS provided the perfect place for us to live. So I kept praying and I kept looking!

Even though I knew it was too early to be calling about houses, there was one house that really caught my eye. So I decided to call the property manager for it. She told me it definitely would not still be available when we were looking to move. She asked me what I was looking for and I told her and I also told her we wanted to be south of Everett to be near the church we plan on going to. She asked which church and when I told her, she said that it's a great church and she grew up in the Assemblies of God churches. So she took my number and said she would let me know if anything came up. I was like, wow, what are the chances that of all the property managers I would call in all of WA, it would be someone from the Assemblies of God?!

The very next evening, she called us and said that one of her tenants gave notice that day to vacate August 31st and she thinks the house would be perfect for us! So she sent some pictures and I had to call her back cause I knew there was no way this house was going to be in our price range...but it is!! It's 4 bedroom, 2.5 bath, 2 story, 3 car garage, 2800 sqft!!! So Mr. M and I took the evening to talk about it and pray about it and definitely felt like God was saying, "Here you go, here's the house I have picked out for you."

When we talked to her the next day she said that this is "God's house" and it's for "God's people!" The people that are in it now are a Pastor and his family, and now us! She's never actually had to put it on the market since the owner moved out. Because of the distance and timing, we asked if there were any other applications in on it that we were going up against and she said that she has the house set aside for us! They would not be accepting other applications for it!

It is in the perfect location, 25 minutes to Mr. M's work, 15 minutes to church, 5 minutes to shopping and food, great neighborhood, and we are just super excited and feeling SO blessed!! We have been praying that God would direct our paths and show us the perfect house for us and He did!! Praise God!!

As far as the church, God has given us complete peace about that as well. With the wonderful people I have been emailing with from there and making contact via facebook, and watching their services online on Sundays...I know we are going to love this church!

The last part of my prayer was about Mr. M having to go to CA for 4 months, 2 weeks after our arrival in WA. He received word from the guy he is relieving that now it looks like he will only have to go to CA for a week or two and then he'll be working up in WA!!! I mean, seriously?! God, you are so awesome!! We would have gotten through it...but I am so thankful we won't have to! This will still mean some stress for Mr. M as the commute from Everett to Bremerton everyday is 1.5 hours each way. But I know God will bless us and even if he's not around much during the week...he'll be home on the weekends! There is SOME talk about a possible 3 or 4 day work week and that is what we are praying for right now.

I am simply amazed at God's love for us. At how He provides everything for us each and every time we move. His love for me is greater then the highest mountain!! And deeper then the deepest sea. Thank you Lord for answering my prayers in such an amazing way!!

Here are pics of our beautiful new home!

Having Faith

I like to think of myself as an optimist...some would even say to a fault! I don't just think of the glass as half full...I think of it as completely full and running over!! I always want everyone to win! When I used to play on our church co-ed baseball league in Virginia Beach years ago, I used to cheer on the other team. The teams needed to have a certain number of females to play, so they begged me to play, even though I really can not play baseball! So the only place they could put me was as catcher, then the pitcher would run up and cover my spot if needed, lol, sad, I know! But when I would sit up there in my catcher gear, and the other teams girls would come up to bat, I knew that some of them, like me, were only playing to fellowship and to fill a spot on the team. So I would give them a word of encouragement. My team used to crack up at me! But they loved me for it too. That is just who I am, it's how God created me.

If you are my friend, then you already know this about me. If you have ever been through a trial, then you know that not only am I on my knees before God, but I am in your corner. Encouragement is one of my spiritual gifts. A gift that is from the Lord and I try to use it to glorify Him!

Another spiritual gift that I have, not quite as high, but it's still right up there...is faith. I have little faith...like that God is going to help the time go slower when I am running late for piano practice with my kids so that we won't be late! Or that I will find a close parking spot so that I won't have to walk through a busy parking lot with 4 children in tow. I also have BIG faith! The kind that made me know that my husband was going to come home safely from Iraq, or that a friend is going to be healed from cancer. And REAL faith, that when God doesn't answer my prayers the way I wanted Him too...that I still know that He knows what is best and that He has bigger and better plans...or just different plans.

Sometimes I think it's easy for me to have faith cause I have never had to deal with anything tragic or terrible happen to me like being abused as a child, or to go through a divorce or the loss of a loved one, or a miscarriage or the loss of a child. So maybe it's easy to sit in my naive little world and have my faith cause everything always works out for me in the end. Well, not everything, Mr. M and I have been apart A LOT in our marriage due to the Navy and I certainly didn't want him to go to Iraq...but again, he always comes home safely to me.

So the area where I struggle the most with faith...is waiting. Trusting in God that HE WILL PROVIDE! So, now we know we are moving to Everett...but where? Have I chosen the right church? I haven't even been there...how do I know this is where God wants us? What if we find a house close to the church and then we don't fit? It seems that most Navy families live north of Everett but the church is south so I want to live somewhere in between, is that the right decision? Now Mr. M may have to live in California from September to January while we are in WA...how is that going to work during the move? Will I have to unpack and settle us once again by myself and with 4 kids this time and no one to lean on for help? How are we going to take a long trip across the entire country and then find a house to move into before Mr. M has to report to his new command? What if we can't find a house in the 10 days we have for house hunting leave? Should we spend the $500 on a ticket for Mr. M to go out there early to look for a house? Should we move right at the beginning of September or more mid-September? Will I make good friends? Will we be apart for Christmas?

My mind is reeling this evening and I can't sleep. Why is this so hard for me? God always provides the perfect house for us, He always takes care of us, and He always gives me the strength that I need to carry on in whatever task lies ahead.

On Sunday my Pastor was talking about some missionaries that live in an area where they are under constant persecution and their words really hit me, "Do not pray that God would take this away, pray that God would help us to withstand it". Wow! Now that is faith!! BIG faith!!

So, Lord, help me to withstand this move once again. You always give us what we need. You especially always provide for me to be able to get through whatever I need to get through. Give me rest Lord. Help me to know what decisions to make and help me to be submissive to my husband and trust him in the decisions that he needs to make for our family. Help us to really enjoy these last few months we have here in New Jersey. Amen